Baby Fever!!!!

I'm laying in bed right now, with the Lovely Mr.WarmAndCuddly fast asleep beside me. It's soothing. This time last year was a totally different scenario. I was alone, and at that point didn't even have a bed. Just a pad on the floor in the middle of my dark little room. And it had been his choice to have me be so alone. So much has changed. Wondering then, would I ever find another person to be with. I doubted it. And my doubt was in the right place. My strength as well. God had a plan. Now, I am laying in a large and comfortable bed with a beautiful soul that is keeping me warm. What a blessing... But yet I am awake, as I have been the last few nights wondering something new. I'm torn... For I yearn for something that I know cannot have RIGHT now. I know better than to bring a baby into the world, when we are not financially ready to take care of it. My parents struggled to raise us and pay for things my sisters and I needed, as they had little money and were so young. I'm still young, too. I have plenty of time... Right? Wrong? Not sure... That's where my worries come in. If, I perhaps have the same Müllerian anomaly, or similar, as my older sister, I would want to start now. With age comes the chance of being even less likely to have a viable pregnancy. A Septated or Bicournate Uterus is no joking matter, especially in our family. There is a HIGH chance of myself or younger sister also having one or more of these anomalies. *Side note, as formerly discussed, the gene that cause these abnormalities seems to be inherited from my father who is missing a Kidney and appendix, also, my younger sister is missing her appendix.* We're trying to convince ourselves that I am going to luck out and be the "Normal" offspring of our parents. But lately... I've been having... Problems... Somewhat similar to those my sister had just before she found out about her septum. Guess what? I'm the age she was then. Ironic. I don't want to discuss the exact nature of those problems, but I'll tell you this. They can be a little scary and painful. Now, it would be so hurtful to myself, my gorgeous husband and our families, if for some reason there could be no babies made between us. I want nothing more than to be his wife, and the mama of his offspring. It's getting really hard, as I see that many girls from my graduating class are on number 1 or more commonly number 2. I joke about it, but to tell the truth, I wish I new their secrets to being so fertile! Haha. Must be the sulfur water back in Idaho, that I didn't drink enough of? See, joking. Have to make myself feel better somehow, right? But really. I could use those tips in the future, you fertile Myrtles. However, I remind myself. We have educations to get, and we'll have money someday. So if need be, I can have surgeries or fertility treatment. But the main part of my heart continues to argue for now, aaaand I don't do well with synthetic hormones, and would prefer getting pregnant without those nasty buggers. And, and, and... The list of arguments goes on.... Anyways, I'm gonna talk to the honey. Ask him to set up a consultation with the Big Boss a.ka. his dad to give me peace of mind and heart or ya know, more worries. Either, or. Anyways, I think I'll nuzzle up to Mr. Slightly Snoring, and get some rest. Buenas Noches, ♥